Just another sleepless night.

Hello 4am.

The cold night and the quietness.
The ache and the pain.
The questions and the answers.

I went to my colleague's baby shower today.
The scene is very heartwarming.
Kids running around, babies crying.
Husband talking to husband.
Wifes talking about children.

Somehow, I thought to myself , will I be able to have all that with that someone else?
I know I already had that vision with two person.
Somehow, shit happens.
Dreams fall apart.

Met up with mutual friends at Robert Timms at Wheelock.
The same nearby location where we had our closure.
When I walked through Ion, saw H&M, I did not cry.
But my heart is worried. I'm afraid to see you with someone else.
Just that thought scares me.
My mind is confused. Does that mean I'm slowly getting over you?
It's a sad and happy mind bogging activity.

Tonight, I learnt that I need to get my act together.
I need to learn to take care of myself.
I have a plan all along, but I took you and matters for granted.
I'm going that prove to myself that I can do it.

Plan e begins tomorrow.

My heart : are you missing me? Not as a friend but as a lover/ partner.