file # 34 artists.
1. When a stranger inside the gallery approaches and talks to you.
Pick words from below.
Aesthetics, Praxis, Space, Invade, Evade, Rhetorical, Existence, Repulsion, Profusely, Pretensions, Dynamic, Democratization, Connivance, Movement, Alter ego, Adapt, Stimulation, Extension, Create, Modify, Resistance, Political, Subconscious, Instinct, Evolved, Metaphor, Extension, Desire, Society, Intrusion. Desolate. Theory.
*The (fill in the blanks) (put verb here) (Adjectives) was (insert genre here) myself.
When attacked with unfamiliarity. Retort with words below:
Key words you should learn: Marxism, Avant-garde, Surreal, Hyperreal, Simulacra, Cyberpunk, Postmodernism, Renaissance, Opt, Dada, Abstract, Holocaust, Modern.
2. Always remember the common isms (cubism perhaps)
3. When someone tells you that the art is dead. Interrogate by stating "Marcel Duchamp was a big boy cross dresser?" put on a little smirk. If he browses on your face with a tinge of disgust. Say "Oh! I love Duchamp that urinal was a breakthrough"
4. On Music:
Don't tell anyone that you like Kelly Clarkson. Lie by saying "I used to listen to David Byrne nevertheless I protest that the Talking Heads was raunchy I adjudged"
Tell them you play the harpsichord. Until the day you had performance in Berlin and you dig a big hole in front of De koonings photo.
5. Whisper in the gallery. Talking loud makes you look stupid.
6. The look. A must.
There are three types of artists.
A. The French type. (black head to toe)
B. Art Brutes (black but conjointly with ripped jeans. paint, paint, everywhere a.k.a. Jackson Pollock)
C. French gay (stripes black and gay)
7. Hold a wine if you are in the category A. Hold a beer if you are in the category B. hold a rose if you are in the category C.
8. Pry into the works. Make a survey on what they think about the work and use it. Collectivity can make you famous.
9. Loiter. Dont smile. Nod. Dont smile.
*When a photographer takes your photo drink your wine/beer you will definitely look much better. If you are in the category C. bite your rose.
10. Statistics: 90% of the people inside an art exhibit are Art groupies, more or less like you. so don't be nervous. Enjoy.


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