Freedom+Happiness

what do i get in return?:

Here i am staring at my own space. I had in mind what to write but all was disorganised. I looked back at all the photos, the past, the present. Looking back at the friends that i have and had. The girls that i've dated and the lame-less countless mistakes that i've made.

How many perfectly fine women am i gonna reject over the MOST superficial, insignificant things? Too loud, too smart, too tall, big gums, makes nosie when she eats... i may have exaggerated but this is me. This is what i do. I'm gonna end up alone! Look at all the train-stops, i'm gonna pull through. Bitter-town -> Alone-ville -> Hermit-junction!

What if i never find somebody, or even worst what if i already found her, but i dumped her because she mis-pronounce "supposedly"?! All my friends gonna get married and i end up alone. Promise me, my dear friends, when you guys are all happily married, DO invite me over for holidays.

I'm gonna die alone. Now, all i've to do is to get a snake. If i'm gonna be an old lonely woman, and i'm gonna need 'a thing'. You know, I'b crazy woman with snake. Crazy Snake Woman! And i'll get more snakes, called them my babies, kids will walked past my place, they'll run! RUN AWAY FROM CRAZY SNAKE WOMAN!

Crazy me! I reject anyone who's crazy enough to go out with me and i bitch about the fact that there aren't any great women out there! ARGH! I've no idea why i blogged about this whole facts, maybe because it has been in my heart for quite sometime and i've no courage to face it. Well, i did, last night to someone. =) The perfection of the imperfect.

Maybe i do know what i want now. Maybe most people don't have a clue. I'm ready to take risks, ready to be vulnerable all over again and be intimate with someone. I'M NOT GONNA END UP ALONE! I'm ready to make an commitment.[maybe?=)] heh. We'll see, my friends... we'll see...